I am going to begin today with a commonly overheard conversation of my youth. It goes like this:
*completely secure, attractive, and well dressed man walks past*
Heterosexual Male A: "Well, he's a fucking fruitcake."
Heterosexual Male B: "Yeap, camper than Christmas."
To this day, I still ponder how anyone ever thought calling someone a fruitcake or comparing them to Christmas of all things, was supposed to be offensive.
I mean, fruitcakes are delicious and Christmas is magical, so, in honour of the geniuses I have stood in the vicinity of over the course of my life, I give you Bobo Academy's guide to making your Christmas Holigays fruitier, and camper...rer...
1. Buy Some Ellen Christmas Glasses:
2. Buy the sweetest, fruitiest Starbucks concoction possible to look at through your Ellen Christmas Glasses #ItsJustACup:
3. When you realize those stickers Ellen put on aren't actually see-through and you just walked into a wall, decorate your cup yourself:
4. When you realize how fucking clever you are, put that shit on a sweater and ♫ don we now our gay apparel ♫ :
Purchase from our Ugly Christmas Collection
5. Proceed to wear your sweater to the first of many 'Ugly Sweater' themed Christmas parties, and seek out this guy:
6. Or if you want to go with the 'camper' theme, you could always head outside and find this guy:
7. On second thoughts...just look for the chick wearing this:
8. And hope like hell she wasn't responsible for this:
Head over to our Ugly Christmas collection to get your order in for yourself, or the ho ho homo in your life.
If you happen to live in the Southern hemisphere, never fear, we got you:
Orders can take up to one month depending on your location, so don't wait!