Her: An Experiment in Communication

Posted by Elli S on

Dear Queers,

United States, Canada, UK, Ireland and now Australia. You might guess "places that should be much further along in LGBT equality than they are" or "top 5 weirdest accents to the others on the list". And while both can be debated, these countries are also where Dattch's new app Her has been sweeping across the queer lady community.

The Her app had one goal in mind: to bring queer ladies together to make friends, date and build a community like never before. We're going to explore the pros, cons, and overall experience of Her, the Lesbian App for Lesbians (With a Side of Extra Lesbianism).

This is a real account of my interaction with the app. I have not been compensated for this, I am but a messenger. Or something.

I must admit that I downloaded Her a few months back, and I have been using it fairly regularly. However, a massive update was just released that makes me feel like I'm using it for the VERY FIRST TIME. (It's only for 18+, because Her is at its core a dating app. Sorry, younguns!) Let's dive in, shall we?

Getting Started

When you first sign up to make an account, Her asks you to either connect with Facebook or Instagram. Which is...okay. I found out later that it's to get immediate access to pictures for your profile, but the idea for a lot of queer ladies that there's even a minute chance that your information and activity might be shared on social media is a little off putting.

But we forge ahead, fearless lady warriors that just want some cool queers to hang out with.


Next, you get the option to set your age filters and distance filters, and add some pictures of yourself or text to your profile! Mine includes the city I live in and my sexual orientation (of which there is a 13-option drop down menu that includes "TBD" and "-"), but both of these options are, well, optional.

Let's meet some girls, shall we?

After a quick loading, in which the app promises to "find you all the babes...", profiles begin to pop up. The user can click and like pictures and text for other girls that they're interested in. And if they like a picture of yours too? Well, then you can CHAT. (woo~). This gives you the option to make friends, make connections, and be your cool homo self.

If you're looking for fun lezzy goings-on near you, then Her can definitely provide. On the Feed page, there are two distinct sections: Here, Near and Queer (which is a list of LGBT+ events going on near you) and a newsfeed type space where users can add questions and content for the whole community to see.

FLASH FORWARD *cool lightning bolt emoji*

Now, if you've been using this app for a few months like I have, you've liked a few pictures, chatted a few times, and maybe even attended a meetup or two (which still give me butterflies, to be honest). Now comes the actual review part of the review.

I've actually met some really cool people through Her. Some are great lesbian friendship material, others...well...more than that. But isn't that the point? Girls on Her are interesting and open, and although the app functions similarly to another swipe-left-swipe-right app that we all know and love, Her builds community like none other. I've seen maybe three people that I know thus far, and that's because I've been using it in my hometown and not my college town where optimal usage can take place.

The new Feed portion of the app is interesting, although not my favorite. It feels a little artificial, but it's also just a baby in comparison to the rest of the app (which is like...a toddler, I guess? It really hasn't been around for very long).

A few little downsides include that you can only send text and not photos in chat (which makes sense creeper-wise, but what if I want to show a cute girl the giant ball pit that I went to last week?) There's also not a whole lot you can do about other people seeing you. You might set your distance and age limits a certain way, but if someone's are larger than yours, they can still see you.

Still, overall, Her is really great. It does exactly what it advertises, plus adds little safety measures that other dating apps seem to lack. Girls can meet other like-minded girls, a feat which used to be reserved for awkward small talk with the cutie ringing you up at the supermarket to see if she'll let slip about if she's into girls or not.

So begone, ways of the past! Goodbye, praying that someone, ANYONE around you might be LGBT+. Adios, creepy dudes hitting on you in other dating apps. Sayonara, only straight friend groups.

Her is here, and it's here to stay.

And Her might actually save the day.

Catch ya on the flip side,




Elli Streifer is a full time college student, with a little bit too much to say about Harry Potter, outer space and intersectional feminism (among other things). She's an American Sign Language major, probably uses too many emojis and is as gay as the day is long. 50% of the Bobo Academy BlogSquad. Currently blogging out of her dorm room in Boston, Massachusetts. Tweet at her, she's always looking for ideas.

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